If You Don't Get It By Midnight, Go To Bed

The human mind, not to mention the human body, is one tough cookie of a mystery to crack. Reminds me of my mom's cookies. Tough and mysterious. Actually, it kinda just reminds me of my mom.

My point, and I don't really have one, is seconds ago I was hanging out with a friend who I hadn't seen in about two years. She's a flight attendant, and she had an overnight layover here in Austin, and so I picked her up from her hotel, and we ate and drank coffee and talked and even watched a movie, as if we hang out every single day. That's how some friends are. Completely natural.
I just dropped her off at her hotel, and just like that, she's gone. Just seconds ago, I felt normal, because I was hanging out with someone I've known for about twelve years. I forget what that's like. It's like looking in a mirror. I forget who I am sometimes, and when juxtaposed to people who know me very well, it's much easier to see. But for that to work, I need the distance to help me forget who I am.

Why? Why did I feel completely different about life when I was around my old friend? I felt nothing was wrong at all. I felt completely comfortable with who I am. And now I'm back in my apartment by myself wondering what the fuck I'm doing with my life, and thinking,

"Hey, maybe perhaps a plan B is in order soon. Every good quarterback needs a backup."

Am I even a good quarterback? Am I even a quarterback? Somethings tells me I'm a placekicker...

Sometimes I can really terrify myself.