What would America be like if the states weren't united? What if we were fifty sovereign entities? Would we be more inclined to respect each other? Would there be constant war, or would we all be allies? Would the landlocked states be resented because of their reliance on the states with a generous water supply, or would the trade and commerce be seemless and friendly? Would New Orleans finally get to be its own country as well? Louisiana and New Orleans have disliked each other for a long time now. An amicable split is in order one of these days.
What if we were fifty different countries with all different government styles? Some dictatorships here and there (West Virginia, Kentucky), some peaceful socialist states (Oregon, possibly California), some with little to no government (New Hampshire, Nevada, Montana). Texas would probably be a constitutional democracy and a military juggernaut, essentially America sized down to one state.
Mississippi and Alabama would merge to be a mega-theocracy. A giant, bible-beaten dirt arena where every fighting-based sport is completely legal. It would be third world for sure, but a real fun and scary place to visit (almost like New Orleans, but even scarier). Georgia would be war-torn for being physically in between the ongoing Florida/Missibama confederate revivalist wars.
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In September, I am planning an Austin Comedy Trainwreck show at Beerland, and my original idea was to have a mock debate style format, but I'm loving the idea less and less every day. I really want to do something no one has ever seen before. Why is that so difficult?
Thursday, May 22, 2008
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How much pot did you smoke before you wrote this? Where's that Jesusland gif when you need it.
ReplyDeleteI never knew that New Orleans and Louisiana dislike each other, but in light of that, I guess you already know how hilarious it is that you moved to the one city that hates and loves to be hated by Texas.
Should've done that debate trainwreck gimmick before the new Lewis Black show started airing. Having said that, do it anyway.
I must admit, I was a little stoned when I wrote this. Is it that obvious? Oh well. I think about these things anyway.
ReplyDeleteNew Orleans and Louisiana are more symbiotic than Texas and Austin, but it's still the bluest part of a red state, which always causes friction.