Because Time Wont Stop

When I was growing up, and not that I minded, I was always accused of being too sarcastic. Just because I was too sarcastic. When I got to high school, "too sarcastic" became "asshole". I embraced that even more.

In addition to utilizing damning saracasm, I was also very argumentative in my teen years, unfortunately. I liked to repeat things that I heard my brothers say, usually conservative talking points about how terrible of a president Bill Clinton was, or how David Duke is a legitimate human being, but I didn't have their actual acquired knowledge, so the entire time I was full of shit. YOU HEAR THAT, CLASS OF 96? I WAS FULL OF SHIT ALL THAT TIME. SORRY!

Anyway, I was never a curious person. I felt like I already knew everything, so of course I never questioned even myself. I also really liked raising my voice. When it came to being an asshole, I was the real deal.

Shortly after graduation, my buddy Dave Dodson & I garnered the nicknames "Everyone's Favorite Asshole" (that would be David) and "The Asshole You Loved To Hate." I never disputed this title, because I thought it was a "good" thing. Actually, I just liked the attention. Looking back, that's a pretty awful nickname. Oh well. Ironically, before this, David and I absolutely hated each other in the four years we shared a classroom. Go figure. We were both kindof impossible to be around.

In that phase of my life, I liked being called an asshole. It meant people reacted to what I was doing; to a sophomore, all that meant was you were getting attention, which in those years was akin to manna from heaven. I wanted attention so much, it seemed only natural to me to (figuratively) step on some toes to get it. It made me few friends, but goddammit, everyone knew who I was.

It took me a while to figure out that my personality was too strong for some people. I was clueless. I would've hated me back then. If I met 19 year old me today, I would ask me to leave. I'm glad there's very little video of me from then, because today I would probably have no friends.

Even after I've gone under a metamorphosis some call maturation, I still get called an asshole more often than I'd like. Granted, today I'm still as anti-social and critical as ever, but today I have the presence of mind to say "well, some people are too social." See? I've rationalized some of my neuroses. I don't get offended when someone accuses me of being an asshole, I get annoyed. And then I look down on those people because they don't get me, and because I'm better than them.