Elephant Titus

There's a commercial for some acne medicine that comes on late night TV, and I think they go a little far with their language. The big word they used to describe this cream was "revolutionary".

That's word carries a lot of weight. Are we talking about an acne medicine that will negate the need for any other acne medicine? Have we finally found pimple penicillin? Has the tyranny of Clearisil been upended? Will this be on the news? Why isn't this on the news? Is this the zit cream that our forefathers and Che Guevera only dreamed about??!!?!

Of course not. We all know that fantasy will never come true because the government doesn't want teenagers to have clear skin. Nobody likes a confident fourteen-year-old.

So, sorry all you pizza-faced freshman out there. The revolution's not happenin. No one's actually looking out for you, so keep writing in that diary, continue hating your parents, and keep washing your face. Soap is still your only friend.