Handlebar Mustache Rides

Besides "Are you Jewish?", the question people ask me the most is "What DO you like?"

Usually, someone will inquire this of me after talking to me about movies or music, but especially American comedy. It's a classic move that paints me as a stick in the mud, even though my movie and music collection is pretty large and diverse. Here's an example:

"So did you see Anchorman?"

"Yea, I didn't think it was very funny."

"What about Old School?"

"Nah. I'm just not into Will Ferrell or that whole crew at all."

"Really? Did you see Talladega Nights?"

"No, and I probably won't, seeing as how I've seen and disliked Walk Hard, Anchorman and Old School, I pretty much know what I'm getting into."

"You didn't like Walk Hard??? What DO you like?"

This conversation is just a composite of what I put up with on a pretty regular basis. I've been called pretentious, snobby, cynical and full of shit, all because I have discerning taste. I never understood the logic behind inquiring what it is I actually like when all that's been offered are a few movies that are all in the same vein.

"Do you like steak?"

"Nah."

"What about pork chops?"

"I'm just not into meat, ya know?"

"Have you ever tried ham or bacon?"

"No, and I probably wouldn't like them, seeing as how I already know I don't like steak or pork chops. I've also sampled sausage, but it wasn't my thing."

"You don't like sausage???? Jesus, what DO you like?"

I think what happens in this situation is since I don't like the things they like, there must be something wrong with me. Well, two can play that game. Imagine if you will if I were to use this line of questioning:

"So, have you seen the new Coen Brothers movie?"

"Nah, I haven't. I don't really dig those brainy comedies. "

"Have you seen Big Lebowski?"

"Yea, and it wasn't my thing."

"Annie Hall? Rushmore?"

"Nah. I hated those movies."

"For fuck's sake, man, what do you like?!?!"

See? I would sound like a real asshole saying something like that, but it's because I'm defending smart comedies. Defending stupidity is more noble and accepted. It all goes back to that deep running American hatred of all things smart. Even smart people are guilty of this. For instance, I personally don't really care for David Foster Wallace. Smarty-pants motherfucker (R.I.P.).

So, to answer the burning question that seems to be on a few people's minds, here are my ten favorite American comedies. THIS is what I like:


10.) Pecker (John Waters, 1998)
Full of Grace!!!! John Waters makes movies that make me laugh. His sense of humor and mine are eerily similar, though not always exact (even I thought Pink Flamingos was more disgusting than funny). Pecker is John Waters sacrificing his signature crassness and focusing more on common human insecurities. This is just about the only movie I like Edward Furlong in, but I like him a lot. He is the "normal" kid among a town of eccentrics who don't understand him even though he seems to understand them perfectly. This film is dripping with priceless, dryly hilarious dialogue and a story original enough to prevent even the most jaded film buff from predicting what happens next. I could watch this movie every day if I had to.



09.) Animal Crackers (Victor Heerman, 1930)
I've only just been introduced to the Marx Brothers filmography in the past year, but I feel like I've been a lifelong fan. This just happens to be the film of theirs that I like the most right now. Comedies today try to incorporate music but it usually feels pretty forced (i.e. the Afternoon Delight sequence in Anchorman). Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppo do it so effortlessly that you don't even realize they've just broken into song, because the songs are always incredibly funny. Also, every once in a while, they'll just let Harpo play the harp or piano for five minutes with no dialogue or comedy, and it still works. The Marx Brothers were all about timing, and no modern comedy troupe touches these guys when it comes to timing.



08.) High Fidelity (Stephen Frears, 2000)
John Cusack and Jack Black both give their funniest performances in this film. Everything from the love story to the fantasy scenes to the soundtrack work perfectly. So many great lines, so many memorable moments, and the ending doesn't suck. It's too bad "About a Boy" was such a stinker. (I know, I didn't like About a Boy, what DO I like?)





07.) This is Spinal Tap (Rob Reiner, 1984)
Big surprise! I like Christopher Guest's mockumentaries, but this one, directed by Rob Reiner, is still the best in the genre. You don't even have to know anything about the 70's arena rock scene, but if you do it makes it all the better. Another infinitely rewatchable film with so many quotable moments, you'll probably discover a new one with each viewing. So, so, so, so....funny.






06.) Rushmore (Wes Anderson, 1998)
Wes Anderson could've stopped making movies after this, and I would've been pretty content. In fact, I don't think anyone involved in this movie has made anything as good since, and yes, I'm including later Wes Anderson films as well as Lost in Translation. Every performance is understated and heart-wrenching, which makes the bone-dry dialogue that much funnier. Could Anderson make a comedy as good with the Will Ferrel and Vince Vaughn in the leads? Probably not, since Wes' style is more "slip a pill in your applesauce" where as Ferrel likes to beat you into oblivion with a blunt object. I guess I'm more of spiked applesauce guy.



05.) The Big Lebowski (Coen Brothers, 1998)
1998 was apparently a good year for American comedies. Anyway, enough has been said about this movie already, but I feel the need to add my own two cents. It took me three viewings to really love this film, but the irony of it is that I actually gave it three chances. That's the great thing about the Coen Brothers. Don't like their movies the first time? You sure about that? Watch it again. Bam! You love it now. How do they do it? I think there's something in the applesauce...




04.) Broadway Danny Rose (Woody Allen, 1984)

Danny Rose: What'd you do, you divorced him, or got a separation, or what?

Tina Vitale: Nah, some guy shot him in the eyes.

Danny Rose: Really? He's blind?

Tina Vitale: Dead.

Danny Rose: Dead! Of course, 'cause the bullets go right through...

I'm a guy who happens to think Woody Allen made the best American comedies in history, and this is one of them. Allen wrote, directed and starred in this one (like so many of his films), but he's never an overwhelming presence. Mia Farrow is fantastic (and smoking hot), and Nick Apollo Forte, in his only role ever (as an over-the-hill lounge singer) is compulsively watchable. He's so good it actually hurts me that he never appeared in anything else before or ever again. This is a movie that needs your undivided attention, or else you'll probably hate it.


03.) O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Coen Brothers, 2000)
Every. Single. Line. Priceless. George Clooney may play the same character any time he's cast in a comedic role, but fortunately, it's a funny one. In fact, just about everyone in this movie is funny in some facet. Great story, great acting, great movie.







02.) Quick Change (Howard Franklin & Bill Murray, 1990)

Note: I have seen this movie about thirty times.

Bill Murray plays a cynic who robs a bank dressed as a clown so he, his lover and his half-witted best friend can leave New York forever. Jason Robards plays the police commissioner on his tail, and the part could not have belonged to anyone else. Somehow, this movie slipped by most people I know. Are they put off by the presence of Geena Davis? Do they see a clown on the box and keep moving? Stop! Rent this movie! No, buy it! If you like Bill Murray at all, you need no other reason to see this.



01.) Annie Hall (Woody Allen, 1977)
I know, this is also the AFI's number 1 comedy as well, but to quote Hunter Hearst Helmsley, it's that damn good. This is Woody's masterpiece, of course, but it's not just his directing and writing. His chemistry with Diane Keaton had been honed throughout the 70's with Play it Again, Sam, Sleeper, and Love & Death, and as a result, they can do no wrong. Woody's acting, which was never his strong point, never gets better than in Annie Hall. Also, don't let the fact that Diane Keaton is cinema poison nowadays prevent you from giving this movie a chance. She used to be awesome, and this was her at her best.

I hope this answers your question.


Honorable Mentions:
Vacation
European Vacation
Christmas Vacation